Yesterday would’ve marked mine and my ex’s 7 year anniversary. Thinking about what our 6 years was like last year, I remember absolute bliss, and I was 100% positive that we would be together forever. It was a really tough day for me because I know that now, that day forward would mean nothing but memories for me. It was bittersweet, thinking about the past and reminiscing on what we once had. What we had was special, and it’s a relationship I imagine I will not get over quickly. But what happens now that our supposed anniversary passed and soon, his birthday will pass and so will mine? Not hearing “Happy Anniversary” from him or even an acknowledgment killed me inside. These were important occasions to me that I always looked forward to just because I knew that we would be happy doing anything as long as we celebrated together somehow. Now they’ll just be regular days I will spend without him. It’s already been tough being broken up for nearly 8 months now, thinking about what could’ve and should’ve been, and what each day felt like without him felt like torture.
I will say that time has flown by so quickly, that I can’t even believe that it’s been this long without him. Although there were days where I felt like crap because I wake up with dreams or nightmares about him, I have grown so much from this breakup altogether. It hasn’t been easy, but I know that things happen for a reason. We talk occasionally, but ignore questions pertaining to our past and any romantic involvement we may have now. And people do think I’m crazy for keeping touch with him, but he has been an integral part of my life for so long, I can’t imagine it without him even if he is only a friend now. I would rather keep the peace than hold a grudge over our relationship because what we had was so near and dear to me that I do not want to lose him altogether. So aside from all that, it’s just a strange feeling to see these important days go by as just another day. Maybe next year it’ll be easier.